I’m craving downtime. September has been a bit insane as far as my family’s schedule. I want to jump off of this roller coaster, but it’s not happening.

Since I last posted, we celebrated Piers’ 7th birthday, went to Atlanta for the weekend, hosted a going away party for Maeve from Fiji, who happens to be one of my best friends and now she’s moving to California. The party was fun but hectic and after spending last weekend getting my house together and making food and entertaining and all that, I am beat. I also don’t want Maeve to leave, but I’m doing my best to summon my inner Buddha and practice detachment. They’re leaving; I’m sad, but it’s beyond my control. I’m so grateful for the time I’ve had with Maeve, but we will miss her and her family terribly.

This coming weekend we’re going back to Atlanta for Allie’s wedding. I’m tired just thinking about it.

I also need to pay some bills and do some organizing.

AND…as if planning and packing and unpacking and all that isn’t enough, I’m trying to get my resume together. A job was recently posted and if it works out, it might be just what I need. It’s in the mental health field, but it’s more networking and advocating with a little teaching and curriculum development. Honestly, I’m terrified that it’s too good to be true. If I could have written this job description, this is what I would have written.

Then WHY am I terrified and doing everything in my power to talk myself out of something that could be wonderful?

Because that’s what I damn do. I have this sickening, self-defeating, inner dialogue.

It’s more than I can handle. With Gil working out of town, I’m the only one available if the kids get sick. Rumor has it that the director is unstable and difficult — I’m trying to stay away from drama. This could be bad. I can’t get everything together working from home; how can I expect to do it with a demanding job. 

On and on and on. I just have to do it. I have to put my resume together and apply. If it’s truly the right fit, I’ll have an opportunity to find out. If I don’t get it, it’s okay, but I have to try.

Remember this post? Well, I haven’t been doing much photography. I did get a cool iPad app that I’ve been goofing around with, which worked well since I had an iTunes gift card that I needed to use. It’s called Master Your DSLR Camera by Betterbook. I think it was around $5 — well worth it in my opinion. I’ll let you know what I think once I’ve played with it more.

What else. Warning, Warning. Possible TMI ahead. Do not proceed if you have problems hearing about periods.

Still here?

Okay.

You’ve been warned.

I bought a Diva Cup and I’m using it. I’m working out a few kinks, but overall it’s good.

I can tell this is going to require it’s own post, but mostly this stemmed from major anxiety and a little curiosity on the side. Last week I was casually scrolling through Facebook when I saw a horribly sad story about a fourteen-year-old dying from toxic shock syndrome after using a tampon.

My midwife, otherwise known by Gil — lovingly of course, as my hippy, witch doctor, suggested the Diva Cup to me a few years ago, but I procrastinated. Gil can knock these women all he wants, but I’ve found that they are often on the cutting edge and recognize trends in medicine before anyone else. She had been recommending that her patients stop using tampons with bleach for a while, but the unbleached ones are expensive and hard to find. The article I linked goes into the whys a bit. I had been having rough periods with cramps for the past few years, and interestingly enough, my cramps are substantially better this go-around. Who knows. I’ve also quit coffee and started back on good vitamins — I’m guessing that helped, too.

I’ve also been reading ferociously. I’ll have to tell you about that in my next post. This post needs to take an Adderall — random is an extreme understatement. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far.

How has your September been? Thoughts on the Diva Cup? Experiences you’d like to share?