I'm thirty-seven years old and my crazy mother still screws with my head. Her most recent antics are affecting me in unimaginable ways and I have no idea how to shake her off of me. I need to do something because I'm slipping into the darkest depression I've experienced in years, perhaps ever. I know … Continue reading Why Do I Let Her Get to Me? Part 1
writing
For the Love! Why Can’t I Just Eat?
So I haven't blogged in over a month, and I woke up this morning with an unquenchable urge to pour my heart out to the internet. Actually, I don't think this is so much the case but rather my head is all over the place, and writing is a healthy way to center myself. Let's … Continue reading For the Love! Why Can’t I Just Eat?
I Need a Vacation
I found out on Thursday morning that my closest friend is moving. I'm beyond upset. Ani and her husband, Zip, have been our best friends for the last four years. They have two girls who are like my own children; Zip and my husband, Gil, play together in a band, and I really don't know … Continue reading I Need a Vacation
March is a Beast
So much is running through my head today. In the last month I've been on the verge of a full-blown depression. I'm clawing and fighting to stay above the surface, but it's a lot of work. March is always hard. March 24 is the anniversary of my dad's suicide. Seventeen years ago, my mom and … Continue reading March is a Beast
I Hurt Too Much to Blog
Typically, writing is healing for me, but lately it just feels like one more thing to do. I've been surviving each week by focusing on my kids and staying busy. I just don't want to be still long enough to feel the pain. I'm a big believer in working through difficult situations, but I'm trudging … Continue reading I Hurt Too Much to Blog
I’m Allergic
This is a conversation I had with Wallace, my three-year-old, as we were driving to school yesterday. We had to be there early so I could rush to my doctor's appointment at 8:45, so the boys were eating their breakfast in route. Me: "Wallace, did you finish your sandwich already?" Wallace: "No, I gave to … Continue reading I’m Allergic
Day 4 & 5 Medication Update
So, I missed a day. Last night we had some friends over and got into a bottle of amazing red wine. I think I had one glass on an empty stomach and fell asleep on the couch. Big sigh.... Day 3 & 4 -- Strattera Update: Took 20mg in the morning yesterday and today. Yesterday, … Continue reading Day 4 & 5 Medication Update
Prepare for the Crash
My therapist once told me that it would be a good idea to plan ahead for emotional tough times. This discussion was a long time ago, so I won't pretend to remember all the details, but I've put this somewhat odd concept into practice -- at least in certain areas. For example, I think I've … Continue reading Prepare for the Crash
Perhaps I Should Consider a Muzzle
Occasionally I run out of garbage bags. My last one will be in the kitchen can and as I clean up one mess or another, I'll toss in my trash. As soon as I open the can, I'll think to myself -- Gotta get trash bags. This one's to capacity, and there are NO more. … Continue reading Perhaps I Should Consider a Muzzle
Big Thing #2 – This is No Fairytale
I once knew a boy who could make everything okay. He could make me smile when the world felt too heavy. His presence provided a calmness that I couldn't explain. I was afraid that this wonderfulness was not real because it felt so other-worldly. We danced in harmony for a brief spell, and it felt … Continue reading Big Thing #2 – This is No Fairytale
Grief Happens 