I went to see my amazing therapist today. The following conversation pretty much says it all.
Her: What’s going on with your medication these days?
Me: I haven’t been on any all summer, and overall I think I’m doing well.
Her: Yes, I agree you seem to be doing well. I only ask because, well, you seem to be having some trouble staying with one thought, and you’re not finishing your sentences. Have you been having trouble with this lately?
Me: I’ll call Brenda (my nurse practitioner and make an appointment today.
UGH!! My hiatus from medication is once again OVER. My head is filled with dancing gypsies and very little is getting done. For example, I have not written much of anything since June, and that’s the least of my concerns.
I’m trying to not fall down the slippery slope.
I’m definitely NOT depressed, but my ADHD is in full force, and I want to be all noble and say that it’s cool and I could have way worse problems, but the reality is, things seriously suck right now.
Okay…that’s a slight exaggeration — I have a lot to be thankful for. I have food in the pantry and a roof over my head. I’m privileged to be able to complain. I want to kick myself because I feel selfish and downright disrespectful griping when there are folks truly in need, but I can’t keep my mind on a damn thing these days, and this crazy reality is wearing me out!!
In an attempt to keep it brief, I’ll sum up my struggles with some nice bullets. Sentences are more than I can currently manage.
— driver’s license is ridiculously expired — as in I realized the day after my birthday as I was feeling quite proud of myself for remembering to renew that I needed to renew it LAST year. Yep, been rolling with an expired license for over a year. Strangely, no one has noticed.
— found out when I went to renew it that I now must produce several documents (new state law, apparently) – marriage license, power bill or other bill proving I live where I say I do, and my Social Security card
— Social Security card is nowhere to be found
— went to the Social Security office to apply for a new card and I kid you not, the helpful lady at the office informed me that all she needed was my DRIVER’S LICENSE and I’d be “all set!”
— I’m still jumping through hoops and driving with an expired license. I’m breathing through it and my current mantra when I’m starting to come unglued is, “Medication will help this.”
— multiple preschool forms, shot records, OMG kids require way too many freakin’ documents when it’s back to school time
There’s more, but once again, I HAVE NO ATTENTION SPAN, so I’ll have to write more when my focus is better — or probably not, at least til I get my attention pills.
There have been some good lifestyle changes that all those awesome ADD books discuss. Again, with the bullets.
— yoga – love it, love it, love it. I’ve been going to one 90 minute class a week minimum. Hope to do more in the future, but it’s a huge start. I’m thrilled to be back.
— readjusted my sleep schedule — going to bed earlier, getting up by 6:30, sometimes earlier. This has gradually become easier. Miracles do happen!
— meditation, prayer, inspirational reading in the AM — doing this most days and I’ve noticed a change in my attitude.
Hopefully I can get an appointment with my NP this week. You’ll know if I follow up soon!!