The World According to Piers and Wallace

Happy weekend! I’m fighting a sinus infection and enjoying the opportunity to be utterly unproductive.

There is so much I want to write but it’s not happening. The pounding head. The pressure in my face. It’s beyond distracting.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon in bed, counting the minutes until Gil walked through the door so I could gulp NyQuil and call it a night.

The kids played cooperatively which was good since I had no mediation in me.  I warned them when they got home from school that they’d have to help me out and behave.

I AM SICK. Tread lightly. 

The conversations I overheard and somewhat engaged in from my bedroom infirmary were quite entertaining. Here are a few snippets.

Wallace: “I’m sorry you’re sick, Mom… Did you have dairy? Like from a cow? ‘Cause…that always makes my nose run. And my skin itch… ”

Me: “No, I think I’m just sick. That happens sometimes. Thanks for checking on me. I love you. You make me smile.”

Wallace (speeding out of the room. My lord, the energy…): “Love you too Mom!!! I love you like a dog loves its tail!”

Thanks. I think…

Wallace is the chattiest of my two children and often conversations between him and Piers are virtually one-sided. The following went down earlier while they were building with their train set. It was remarkably familiar. I imagine an eaves dropper could have reported similar interactions years ago when Gil and I were building our house — me chatting away and Gil with his laser focus grunting occasionally, ya know, so I’d feel heard.

Wallace: “I haven’t pooped in days…well…not this day…. I did poop yesterday…in phonics…morning phonics… I DO NOT like phonics. It just goes on and on and on…like that infinity number…

Then there was this:

Piers: (Jumping on the bed, slamming his head into my leg. Again, THE ENERGY. It’s s miracle I’m not sick more. My adrenals have to be shot — I’ve been on high alert since I birthed this kid): “Guess what?! I saw the Easter Bunny today!”

Me: “Hmm…interesting…”

Piers: “Kidding!!!! Did I getcha?! I was just thinking about him… today… in the middle of math…”

Wallace: “We had an Easter duck today in our class…well…actually I don’t think it had anything to do with Easter…but maybe it did…”

Me: “Well why was it there?”

Wallace: “I think because of drugs…”

WTF?! Really, a Just-Say-No DUCK?!

Me: “Wait…was it a real duck?”

Wallace: “No, silly! Of course not! It was way too big to be real. I think it was Mr. McFarland (random teacher)…it was kinda shaped like him.”

And that, my friends, is standard. These are the tales I hear from first grade and kindergarten. I do a lot of reading between the lines.

Do your kids tell you about school or if no kids, did you tell your parents about the happenings in school?

I think I broke it down a little better than my own children do when I was a kid. Maybe girls elaborate more. Who knows, but I get the most random stories and even those are few and far between.

Cheers to health and sending you all lots of love!

9 thoughts on “The World According to Piers and Wallace

  1. I love the random stories! My youngest plays all her imaginative games out loud. Everything she owns has a voice, and it is NEVER in her head (not even at church). One of my favorite things to do is to listen to her carry on with all the characters that she invents. Sometimes, they sound just like me. Sometimes, they are her teachers. Sometimes, they are an ideal older version of herself whom she wishes to become. Like you, I try to read between the lines. These are my opportunities to see how she internalizes her interactions with the world…and to decide if I need to edit the way I speak to her sometimes.

    Hope you are feeling better 🙂


    • Yes! I love listening in and getting ideas about what’s going on in those little minds. Your daughter sounds adorable. I’ve been catching up on your blog but keep getting distracted so haven’t commented…yet. I just have to say it here — Wow on the Sunday dinner. Hang in there. You are SO strong! xoxo


  2. Girls definitely elaborate more. You have to PROD (as in cattle prod) boys to get them to say anything!

    Even now, when mine are grown, I have to ask question after question and then usually throw my hands up in the air and then call their girlfriends so that I can REALLY find out what’s going on.


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    • Yes on the calling their girlfriends. Even now, I love it when I see girls who are in their classes. They go on and on and on, and I’m thinking — this is the greatest thing ever!! I guess I better get used to it!


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