As a kid I was told that I had strange reactions to things. I'm not crazy about this label, but it's kind of true. If I bump my head I get angry and have been known to stomp and throw things. A normal reactor would probably cry or at least say that it hurt. I … Continue reading Awards, Guilt, and Gratitude
http://elitedaily.com/life/10-things-that-the-people-who-love-their-lives-are-doing-differently/598934/ Hope you all are well. We're knee-deep in getting-out-of-school mode, so things are busy. Good busy, but my already limited organizational skills are being stretched to capacity. I was feeling slightly stressed this morning, but then I came across the above article, and it gave me some peace. It's so easy to get caught … Continue reading Can We Take It Down a Notch On Social Media?
I'm flitting from one thing to the next and can't land on one thing in particular. I've been engulfed, smothered, and consumed by a grief that I didn't know was possible. i picked up the phone Saturday around noon and heard my mom's voice, but it still feels like a dream. "Kitty's dead." I want … Continue reading The Ugly
It's been a rough few days, y'all. So today we did what we do when we're not sure how to make sense of this big, beautiful, tragic life. We went to the beach. It didn't make everything okay, but I feel like I can face the world now. I'm looking forward to summer and lots … Continue reading Happy Easter!
I read this last night as I was about to sleep — my favorite part of the day lately. She describes so eloquently how I’ve been feeling the past few weeks. The comments are worth looking at as well. I know from experience that things will get better, but it’s not fun in the meantime. Anne’s blog and writing are amazing. I send love and light and hope she feels better soon.
Right now my favourite part of the day is the last half hour or so, which is the time I spend fighting the effects of my prescription sleeping pill. I get to ride this wave of sleepy euphoria, where the whirring, clanking machinery inside my head slows down and all of my limbs are loose and relaxed. It’s like being drunk or high, except that it feels very calm and safe — unlike other altered states of consciousness, I know that nothing can go wrong. When I finally do lie down, with the thought that I have several hours of blissful unconsciousness to look forward to, I feel everything draw away from me, my body suspended in a dark sea as I wait for sleep to gather at the edge of the horizon and then come crashing over me.
This is what I look forward to, from the time I wake up until…
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So, quickly.......I got some super-nice comments, emails, etc., from people sharing their stories of depression and anxiety, and I just have to say that hearing from you guys restores my faith in humanity. Thank you!I have not managed to get to the doctor, yet. I called to make an appointment and learned that my favorite … Continue reading Running; Anxiety Update; Neck, Shoulders, and Back Issues
I have to get my anxiety under control. I'm just not sure how to do this. After years of seeing therapists and psychiatrists, I have no confidence whatsoever in any "expert's" ability to adequately treat this condition.Am I so far in the weeds right now that I can't think straight and make a decision on … Continue reading How Can I Tame this Anxiety?
Why is it that as soon as I write about how well things are going, like I did in my last post, THE SHIT HITS THE FAN?!! Gil had an early meeting yesterday, so he wasn't able to take the boys to school. Typically he drops them off on his way to work, and then I … Continue reading Some Days There Just Aren’t Enough Rocks
Sometimes I struggle with feeling unaccomplished. I don’t like to admit that, so I decided to put it out here on my anonymous blog. These feelings have invaded my psyche since having children, and they’ve made me examine my attitude towards success, more specifically, how I define it. My children are now five and four … Continue reading How Do You Define Success?
Gil just took the boys to the store to buy a filter for the vacuum cleaner. The last week has been interesting. I'm writing this quickly, so I'll do my best to summarize the main happenings, particularly the situation with Gil. I noticed a difference in him last weekend when he arrived to pick up … Continue reading I Never Cease to be Amazed in this Marriage