Gil just took the boys to the store to buy a filter for the vacuum cleaner. The last week has been interesting. I'm writing this quickly, so I'll do my best to summarize the main happenings, particularly the situation with Gil. I noticed a difference in him last weekend when he arrived to pick up … Continue reading I Never Cease to be Amazed in this Marriage
depression
Granny Always Had the Best Drugs
I miss my grandmother. Today I miss her little silver box. Sad but true. My own grandmother occasionally medicated anyone in the family who dared get a little "worked-up."She always kept what I now know as Xanax in a small metal container in her purse. No one ever would have guessed that the red-headed preacher's … Continue reading Granny Always Had the Best Drugs
Why Do I Let Her Get to Me? Part 1
I'm thirty-seven years old and my crazy mother still screws with my head. Her most recent antics are affecting me in unimaginable ways and I have no idea how to shake her off of me. I need to do something because I'm slipping into the darkest depression I've experienced in years, perhaps ever. I know … Continue reading Why Do I Let Her Get to Me? Part 1
March is a Beast
So much is running through my head today. In the last month I've been on the verge of a full-blown depression. I'm clawing and fighting to stay above the surface, but it's a lot of work. March is always hard. March 24 is the anniversary of my dad's suicide. Seventeen years ago, my mom and … Continue reading March is a Beast
I Hurt Too Much to Blog
Typically, writing is healing for me, but lately it just feels like one more thing to do. I've been surviving each week by focusing on my kids and staying busy. I just don't want to be still long enough to feel the pain. I'm a big believer in working through difficult situations, but I'm trudging … Continue reading I Hurt Too Much to Blog
Strattera Update – Days 11-17
Strattera Update - Days 11-17 60mgs -- I've been taking it in the morning. I tried a few days taking it at night hoping I'd sleep better, but it didn't seem to make a difference, so I'm back to taking it in the morning. Do I feel better? Good question. I can't say there's really … Continue reading Strattera Update – Days 11-17
Highlights From Hell — I mean, Home
So much to post, so little focus. Bear with me. I've spent most of the week at Mamala's. I'll try to sum it up briefly. The following quote pretty much says all I can say at the moment about the trip and my relationship with my mom: "Honey, you really must look at the bright … Continue reading Highlights From Hell — I mean, Home
Prepare for the Crash
My therapist once told me that it would be a good idea to plan ahead for emotional tough times. This discussion was a long time ago, so I won't pretend to remember all the details, but I've put this somewhat odd concept into practice -- at least in certain areas. For example, I think I've … Continue reading Prepare for the Crash
No Simple Solution
I have so many thoughts floating around in my head these days, and I don't have a clue where to begin. So again, here's some randomness. Several years ago when I was finishing my undergrad degree, I only had two classes left to complete my Women's and Gender Studies emphasis. The problem was that I … Continue reading No Simple Solution
Pocket of Pain
I feel emotionally hung over after all the writing and pondering I did yesterday, but the drunken haze is starting to lift and like some of my hard-partying college days, I'm ready for another night on the town. Talking about my struggles is hard, but once I start, I feel this relentless urge to keep … Continue reading Pocket of Pain
Grief Happens 