My left-brain is non-existent, or at least it feels that way a lot of the time, particularly when I’m unmedicated. I’ll get these ideas for posts, but if I don’t walk away from whatever I’m doing when the thought flutters through my brain, it might not return.
My missing left-brain has a few benefits; one being that I am spectacular at living in the moment. The downside is that planning ahead does not come naturally. I become aware of say Monday morning on Monday morning. I decide that it would be nice to write about Mother’s Day on Mother’s Day. Same with Christmas, Valentine’s Day and unfortunately, my children’s birthdays. Experts tell me that planning is a skill that I can learn, and while I agree, I also know that regardless of how hard I work at planning and organizing, I haven’t seen a whole of lot of long-term improvement. In other words, practice has not made perfect, and frankly I don’t feel like I’ve improved much at all.
But alas, I keep trying. I suppose that’s all I can do
My other dilemma is that I don’t like planning in advance, and I live with this delusion that I do my best work at crunch time. Because I’m deluded, I really believe that planning ahead infringes on my creativity. And really, it might. But waiting until the last minute is extremely bad for my emotional well-being; therefore I work hard to learn and implement effective planning skills.
The point of me sharing all of this is that when it comes to blogging, I’m not much of a planner, and I did not plan a Mother’s Day post. Fortunately, at least this year, I didn’t write about Mother’s Day because I was busy enjoying it, so I will try elaborate later on the actual day.
In the past I have found Mother’s Day stressful — mostly because I have a complicated relationship with Mamala. This year was okay and I’m thankful. Drama-free? Well, not entirely, but I think we’re making progress.
This morning, I enjoyed a THREE hour phone call with my dear friend, Ani. I know!! Who besides an unsupervized fourteen year old talks on the phone for THREE hours without even realizing it? Apparently us.
Ani’s Mother’s Day was a bit stressful, and she and I had to mother each other a little because really, isn’t that what so many women do for each other?
As I reflect on Mother’s Day, I want to celebrate and acknowledge the women who have nurtured and cared for me throughout my life. We women really are emotional caretakers, whether we have biological children or not, and that is truly something to celebrate.
My relationship with my mom is better than it’s ever been, but it wasn’t able to evolve and blossom until I was able to let go of this idea of what it should be. She had to do the same.
I am blessed beyond measure with good women friends and mentors. Even through this blog I have loyal readers who I really believe get me, and even when maybe they don’t, they make the effort and attempt to understand and find common ground.
That is a gift.
I got off the phone with Ani, and I was planning to write a summary about Mother’s Day, but a roundabout tribute to friendship felt more fitting.
I also struggle with Mother’s Day because I’ve had more than one person share with me how hurtful and upsetting the holiday can be. For some it’s a reminder that they won’t have biological children. Others are sad because their mother is gone and they miss her. Many have contentious or estranged relationships with their mothers while others are sad because their children or their mothers live far away and they can’t enjoy the holiday together. Then there are the mothers who have lost children through miscarriage or some other tragedy. I mean really, is a commercialized holiday that marketers dreamed up worth it when it serves as a painful reminder to so many of what they don’t have?
Whatever your circumstances this Mother’s Day (okay, technically it’s the day after), I challenge you to think about the women in your life who have mothered you — friends, teachers, aunts, coworkers, etc. It sounds cheesy, but sometimes I sit in silence and light a candle as I silently acknowledge people. Some of my “mothers” are no longer here, so I try to conjure up a happy memory as I light a candle and express gratitude. A word of caution if you have kids, wait until they go to bed to get the fire out. Trust me on this one….
This morning, I’m especially thankful for my friendship with Ani. She’s a good egg, and I’m glad I know her. The picture above is of the two of us at the beach over Easter weekend doing what we do best — chatting about life.
Who are the women who have nurtured you?