A Day in the Life of a Scrawny Chick With ADD Who Takes Controlled Substances

How’s that for a title? Let’s jump right in, shall we?

I’m taking a respite from the meds that make my brain work, not exactly by choice.

When I went to pick up my refill, I was informed that I hadn’t had an actual appointment in six months and this would have to happen before I could have the prescription. This irks me, frankly, since I follow up with my therapist every two months — sometimes more frequently, and she keeps serious tabs on my weight and emotional stability and communicates with Beverly, the nurse practitioner that writes my prescription.

It’s worth mentioning that I take a VERY low dose stimulant. Every doctor with specific knowledge of ADHD has recommended a higher dose, but because I have a history of restrictive eating disorders, most general practitioners are hesitant to prescribe more since it does curb my appetite. It also tends to increase anxiety, another problem I don’t need.

The office staff kindly worked me in the next day, but Beverly was off, so I saw a soulless witch a responsible physician who doesn’t know me and was using her professional judgement.

“You’re five pounds down since your last appointment. That’s not good. According to your file, you have a restrictive eating disorder. Is that why you’re partial to stimulants?”

“No. They just happen to be the medication that works best for me. And I don’t have a restrictive eating disorder; I HAD one when I was in college. . . over fifteen years ago.”

“Well, I’m not going to write this for you until you gain back the five pounds you’ve lost.”

Oh my freaking jezebel, lady, are you kidding me?! You guys, I would tell you here if I were “restricting.”

I’m not.

I’ve had a helluva busy month, and meal planning and cooking have been at the bottom of my to-do list. Yes, I need to do better, but not being on my meds is not going to make meal planning and remembering to actually eat easier.

At all.

However… I think it’s pretty shitty to meet a person one time and flat out refuse to write a prescription she’s been taking for well over a year.

I did everything in my power to keep from grabbing her by her OWN skinny little neck, focused on my breathing and calmly said, “Can you call Eve Waters? She’s my therapist, and she and Beverly communicate on this. I need this medication and I have records showing that. Look closer at my file. Yes, I have to keep an eye on my weight, but it’s likely I was wearing heavier clothes at my last appointment. Had I been ON this medicine today, I likely would have remembered to wear something heavier than yoga capris and a t-shirt, but I have ADHD and was trying my damnedest to get to this appointment before your office closed. I also had to drive an hour to get here, so it would be helpful if I could get the prescription today and followup on my weight.”

“Ms. Fitzpatrick, I understand your frustration (The HELL you do, but keep going. . .) but our office closes in 15 minutes. I won’t be able to get in touch with Dr. Waters until the next business day (otherwise known as tomorrow…) — I can’t write your prescription today.”

Alrighty then. Here’s my $45 copay. Thanks for your time, Bitch  Dr. Someone-Shit-in-My-Cornflakes.

Did I mention that my children were waiting impatiently in the lobby?

Well, they were, and as we were leaving a smarmy, geriatric Southern belle reminded me that we can’t be too careful when it comes to our children, “There are sexual predators on every corner these days…”

I glanced around the empty waiting area, and saw my two boys, said woman, who I was ready to tell to mind her own business, and . . . and . . . Oh! That was it.

I could be wrong, but she didn’t appear at all interested in seven and eight year old boys. Not to mention, I was ten feet away from them for all of five minutes, AND the office gate-keeper was kind enough to say she’d keep an eye on them. This is Tiny-Town, Georgia. I’m not saying bad things don’t happen in off-the-grid places, but I’m highly anxious about that kind of thing, and my children being sexually assaulted in Tiny Town Family Practice was the LEAST of my concerns that day.

It took everything in me not to turn to her and say, “Thank you for your concern! Guys, did this  sanctimonious scumbag try to weasel her way into your pants?! How many times have we discussed the importance of yelling ‘STRANGER DANGER!!!’ if that ever happens?”

I contained myself, turned on my own Southern charm and said, “You are so right. The horrors! I appreciate you reminding me that I need to be more careful. Enjoy the rest of your day, now.” All while wrangling my little barracudas out of the office.

And back we drove to Savannah, distracted as ever. I could write a book about the struggles I face trying to get my medication filled. I get it. . .sort of, but lately there seem to be more and more restrictions. I’m waiting for my new insurance to kick in before I transfer to a Savannah doctor.

In the meantime, look for me standing in line at the Krispy Kreme donut counter as I attempt to make weight.

What’s new in your world?


19 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of a Scrawny Chick With ADD Who Takes Controlled Substances

  1. Ugh, my previous doctor was all over the “weight situation” when prescribing me stimulants. She said it would be unethical to “allow” me to lose weight through them. I tried to explain to her that getting weighed caused me more anxiety and made me worse, not better. Obviously she won. The fact that I didn’t know whether or not I was getting a prescription each month was frustrating. My new doc is more lenient and I’ve had no trouble with her regarding my weight.

    I sort of understand some of the regulations regarding stimulants, but other aspects I find to be ridiculous. Like not allowing me to fill my prescription before I run out of meds. What if there is some sort of complication (lets face it, they happen, and often) and I end up having to wait longer to get it filled for whatever reason – guess what I’ve got NO MEDS.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly. I get so overwhelmed when I’m off stimulants that it’s nearly impossible to grocery shop or even sit through a meal in a restaurant. Stimulants DO affect my appetite but my weight has been stable (give or take five pounds or so) for years. All of it is frustrating. Maybe you can talk to your doctor and possibly get some extra pills as a “cushion.” Thankfully, I found a great psychiatric practice here, and things have been better. Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Raw but Necessary: Part 1 – Medication Changes | Grief Happens

  3. This borders in criminal. Here’s the thing…she could have given you a prescription for a day or three with of meds until she could chat with your doctor. If I’m not mistaken you can’t call those prescriptions in (two of my boys were on ADD mess and both were stimulants) so you’re going to have to go back anyway. Better to have you clear and focused when you come back right?

    I said right?

    See? That stupid Doctor wasn’t listening.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly!!! Thank you for saying this… It’s so hard for people (even professionals) to get that it’s a real disorder. Part of me wants to say — well, it’s my fault, I should have gotten in sooner. I should have made sure I saw my dr. not another on staff…but just no. It is borderline criminal. And you’re right…you can’t call those in. I have so many fucking stories with these meds…I should write a book. The good news is I have new insurance starting tomorrow, so I can see a specialist in Savannah. Sigh…


      • You can’t get there sooner or make sure you see your doctor BECAUSE YOU CAN’T ORGANIZE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!

        I think there are just so many drug seekers out there that they are extra cautious with adults. I can’t tell you the number of times my sister took my nephew’s medication leaving him with nothing to help manage his life. And, as you know, once it’s gone it’s gone…there are no early refills.

        Good luck with this. If nothing else, file a complaint with the AMA…after you get your meds and can organize your thoughts. (That was a joke meant just for you. šŸ˜‰ )

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Please, my darling, never, ever feel bad complaining about anything here – this is YOUR blog! I love reading every post no matter what you write about.

    Plus you have every right to vent about this absolutely ridiculous, disgusting, f*cked-up (sorry, you know I’m a P.M. – a.k.a. potty mouth) situation. What a control-happy power freak that “doctor” was.

    She/It took an oath to “do no harm”, and so her bullshit game playing and patronizing ways makes her a complete hypocrite!

    She should have given you the dang refill. Arrrrrrggggghhhhh!

    I loved how you wrote about how the whole thing went down – you have such clear, witty, grounded writing.

    Okay, time to take a deep breath.
    You were a class act!
    You didn’t spew expletives at her or the old lobby bat.

    What’s new in my world? I started watching “Scandal” season one online on Netflix, and I’m hooked. Netflix offers another series created by the same person who dreamed up “Scandal” (Shonda Rimes) called “How To Get Away with Murder” that I might check out. I feel guilty for not being more productive, but in between watching these shows I’m cleaning, baking, doing laundry, paying bills, and washing the dog! And more. So I don’t feel *that* guilty! šŸ˜‰

    Have a good Thanksgiving, my dear.


    • Awww, thank you, my dear!!! I meant to tell you (in fact, I thought of this while I was cleaning today) that I watched a movie you recommended a while back and it was HILARIOUS!!! I’m drawing a blank on the name, but it was the one about the four couples and their relationship struggles. I almost had to breathe into a bag I was laughing SO hard at the sign language call center phone sex couple… Gil and I both were about falling off the couch. I’ve been wanting to check out both of those shows. And no guilt — being productive is overrated. My kids are watching Home Alone right now, and most likely learning tricks they probably don’t need, but they wore me out on their first day off… Happy Thanksgiving to you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. something similar to this happened to me once. I had just moved, and my mother suggested I use her Dr. because she was great. So I met this doctor, explained that I had been taking Ritalin for 2 years. She stated she needs me to get a psych apt to update my medical records, but that for the time being she will prescribe the meds since I had already been taking them. I called to renew my prescription the next month, and was advised by the nurse my prescription was being refused by the doctor. What a turd. She lost a potential patient, and she lost a long time patient in my mother as well. I immediately found a different doctor, one who had his residency in a children’s ward specializing in ADHD and other disorders. It was a blessing! I hope things work out for you. It’s really crappy for a doctor to make a judgment call like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s SO frustrating, isn’t it?! Thank you for sharing that — it helps immensely when I hear that it’s not just me that has these issues. Glad you found a specialist that has helped — that’s my sincere hope. This post is also a long rant after multiple problems at the pharmacy the past few times I’ve refilled. Grrr. Happy Thanksgiving to you. Thanks for stopping by. šŸ™‚


  6. I’ve been having the battle of *our insurance company knows more than my doctor*. What a frustrating day–and it’s really annoying when others have to nose in when it comes to raising our kids. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It WAS frustrating… good thing I have a sense of humor — today anyway. Good luck with your insurance situation. It’s exasperating, isn’t it? Happy Thanksgiving to you you and your family, too. šŸ™‚


  7. Oh.My.God! Are you kidding me? Whatever happened to treating the patient, not the chart? I hope tomorrow when your regular NP comes in she will take care of business…so that you can drive an hour back to obtain said prescription, because I know she can’t just call that in to the pharmacy. I’m so sorry.


    • I thought about you when I was writing this. I feel bad complaining — I somewhat get it. She doesn’t know me & I get that there are liability issues with these meds (mostly because I’m reminded of it in some way every month) but she was SO rude and just refused to even hear me. Part of my frustration is that I moved and haven’t found new doctors (not an easy thing) plus the insurance issue til the first of the year. It’s 10mgs 2x a day & I get it filled every month in a half to two months which means I don’t even take the full dose everyday. I could write more but I’ll stop. I’m off my meds until next week at least so it’s frustrating and I’m drinking red bull when I need to be on task… this too shall pass. Happy Thanksgiving! Sending good thoughts your way, friend!


      • No need to feel bad. What’s a blog for if not to vent? You’re right. There are so many different ways she could have handled your situation that would have left you feeling more like a human and less like a “co-pay”.

        I understand about finding a new doctor. I find the idea of it absolutely dreadful! But I do hope you will be able to find someone good in your area. You probably already do this, but if you don’t, any chance you can get your regular NP to write enough prescriptions for three months of med (on three different slips) in order to give you enough time to find a new provider?

        Again, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Handle that Red Bull with care, it played a number on my brain!! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family also. I hope you don’t have to deal with any spit-can relatives this year šŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks. I’m definitely not overdoing the Red Bull. I had maybe half one today. I know they’re not the greatest. This particular doctor’s office used to write three months worth of prescriptions at a time (it was MUCH easier then), but they changed their policy the beginning of the year and now anyone taking stimulants has to go in and actually get the prescription in hand EVERY month. It’s a huge pain, especially since I now live over an hour from the office. GRRR. My new insurance kicks in soon, and I’m optimistic it will be better. I’ll then be able to go back to the practice in Sav that I went to years ago. It’s okay, and I’m kind of seeing it as a blessing in disguise. I’ve *felt* like something could be better, so this break/reset might be the thing that pushes me to get more optimum and care and possibly different meds. I’m not working much this week, and I can write okay (sometimes better) off the meds. It’s the organizing and keeping up with kid paperwork and activities that’s much harder without it. It’s like it activates my non-existent left brain. šŸ™‚


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