I have to get my anxiety under control. I'm just not sure how to do this. After years of seeing therapists and psychiatrists, I have no confidence whatsoever in any "expert's" ability to adequately treat this condition.Am I so far in the weeds right now that I can't think straight and make a decision on … Continue reading How Can I Tame this Anxiety?
I miss my grandmother. Today I miss her little silver box. Sad but true. My own grandmother occasionally medicated anyone in the family who dared get a little "worked-up."She always kept what I now know as Xanax in a small metal container in her purse. No one ever would have guessed that the red-headed preacher's … Continue reading Granny Always Had the Best Drugs
Once again I'm writing about my marriage. Things with Gil are not good. It seems I always come back to this. I've tried in every way that I know how, but I get discouraged when I look at him and know he has little ownership in our problems. He's made it clear over and over … Continue reading Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Yesterday I shared some of my ongoing saga with my mother. You can read the backstory here. Today is proving to be a hectic day, so I don't know if I'll have time to write a proper post. I did leave you hanging with my last post so I'll go ahead and post the email … Continue reading The Email Part 2
Day 21 and beyond: 60mg, taken in the morning -- on average, around 9am. This will be my last medication update for a while. I found it a little difficult and personally unhelpful to post every day. Plus, it was just a tough commitment to keep with everything else going on. However, I'm very interested … Continue reading Strattera Update
Strattera Update - Days 11-17 60mgs -- I've been taking it in the morning. I tried a few days taking it at night hoping I'd sleep better, but it didn't seem to make a difference, so I'm back to taking it in the morning. Do I feel better? Good question. I can't say there's really … Continue reading Strattera Update – Days 11-17
I'm having a bit of a meltdown this morning. The reality is hitting me that I must file for a divorce and go through with it, but I'm so very afraid. I want to believe that I am strong enough to get through this, but I have so many doubts. In a perfect world, we … Continue reading Tell Me This Will Get Easier
My therapist once told me that it would be a good idea to plan ahead for emotional tough times. This discussion was a long time ago, so I won't pretend to remember all the details, but I've put this somewhat odd concept into practice -- at least in certain areas. For example, I think I've … Continue reading Prepare for the Crash
I once knew a boy who could make everything okay. He could make me smile when the world felt too heavy. His presence provided a calmness that I couldn't explain. I was afraid that this wonderfulness was not real because it felt so other-worldly. We danced in harmony for a brief spell, and it felt … Continue reading Big Thing #2 – This is No Fairytale